Parents with excellent syndrome: how to avoid them
You have probably noticed that now all those who are parents are extremely worried about their status. Each strives to be extremely savvy in the subject and in his gusts clearly overdo it. Methods of development, books on education, useful links in the mail, subscriptions to all sorts of pages on Instagram. The abundance of information in our time literally rolls over. This is dangerous because exhausted parents, in pursuit of the meaning and benefit of parenthood, lose the main thing - pleasure.
In trying to be perfect, we forget to just look at the child and smile at him. To be with him here and now. Listen to yourself and to him, and not to some experienced aunt who is thinking there. Another danger lies in the fact that the amount of "important" information can shake even the most strong nerves. Parents with an excellent student syndrome are most susceptible to this, but all efforts, as a rule, lead to neurosis and sometimes disappointment. What to do? Exhale.Stop asking yourself daily questions on the topic “Am I doing everything right?”.
Stop making any assessment at all and just catch the buzz from the process. Or don't catch anything and just live. Just first read our wisdom, suddenly something useful in the "life".
Get off the baby
And along with this, forget about the early development, which is shouted from every angle. It is necessary to study, read, read strictly in due time and not before. For example, two or three years is a period of very rapid development of the sensorimotor and emotional sphere. If you climb there and load your child with your Wishlist, you will begin to waste its energy supply. As a result, emotional processes will suffer, because no one has repealed the laws of the development of the psyche. If we spend energy on the development of a function, then there is a shortage where this energy should have been initially invested. All the other "drama circles" - for photos, drawing, singing - will not be harmed, and if you want so much, then, of course, take your little artist to the courses. Just do not forget the main thing: you need every day to give your child free time to do nothing (from your point of view). It is as useful as all other types of games.
Kids act like kids
Agree, we all forget about it. And we perceive the immature acts of the children and their not always smooth way of knowing life as something glaring. The child knows the world, and we, instead of respecting his actions, react with rudeness, irritation and intolerance. We are waiting for logical actions and self-control from him, and these are very big requirements for a physically and psychologically small person. So we reserve patience and help. Even if for this we need a sedative or a glass of wine!
The only thing you can really read about is the stages of development of the baby.
Here the technical part is more important. About growth leaps, against which there are mood swings. About separation, anxiety, age crises (just do not take everything literally). About the fact that any changes, whether it is a transition from three dreams to two or cancellation of night feedings, mostly pass through crying (stress), and the sooner you calm down yourself, the faster the baby will get used to the new rules of the game. Small children are extremely conservative. Each change for them - resistance. But you can help your child overcome crises as painlessly as possible.
Watch your baby
And not for the neighbors siblings. It makes no difference that the boy Vasya quietly plays in the sandbox, and your Kohl rushes like mad around the playground. Your Kohl has his own unique traits and character. Love his bustle, his sluggishness, his loud voice, his ability to hold a fork with a spoon, and then your child will bloom for you. Know all the "chips" of your baby - it will be much easier to navigate in his life and help him cope with various difficult situations.
This "still silly" baby deserves respect from birth. Just do not forget that even with great love and adoration, it is important to set boundaries, without which children are anxious. Borders are frames that you designate in a respectful and calm manner. Adults who do not know how to do this are thwarted by criticism, shame and punishment. But, as in the adult world, your confidence is important here - in every word. Then the baby will believe you and these “counts” boundaries. Learn!
Do not do for the child everything
The easiest way to teach a child to be agile and skillful? Do not help him and do not hold "just in case."Of course, the hand is always on the pulse, and the look is extremely concentrated, but if for the first time the baby climbs into a chair, for example, or a sofa, do not touch it. And he will climb there for the second, third, fifth time there surely and quite cleverly, believe me. If for the first time a baby stomps on the playground and tries to climb the slide on the stairs, do not grab him by the hood - let him rise as much as he can. Do not believe it, but after a few months he will be able to calmly climb and descend from it himself. The same goes for psychological skills. Do not look for a son or daughter the way to solve the problem - children are perfectly able to cope with them themselves, if we let them. Learn this from the very beginning, because then you will want to give him advice, read lectures, “protect”, thereby depriving a person of the opportunity to be an adult and responsible for his life.
Nurture yourself, not him
The ideal way to "educate" is to show how to live, by example. No child (remember yourself) believes words without action and always smells a catch. Especially children are incredibly attentive, and their intuition is very abruptly developed. Even in utter annoyance and pampering, they continue to observe.Behind our words, reactions, interaction with the outside world. And we ourselves have something to learn, is not it? In addition, try not to influence his behavior by training a child day after day, but on his soul. Talking about those matters that can not be bought or copied, they can only be trained, like the heart muscle. Learn to love and teach this child - it may be useful to him much more than drawing with singing.
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