OUR FIRST BASEBALL GAME! | On-Season Baseball Series | Game 1

It's Baseball Season!

And you know what that means, don't you?


(you should be aware that I love nachos. It's almost unhealthy. I'd pick a specific blog link to prove this to you, but it is peppered throughout my blog.)

And Mark says HOTDOGS! But I say no, not hotdogs. Except the hot dog race at the beginning of each game, where ketchup, mustard, and onion hotdog guys race around the track and I cheer on mustard while I eat my nachos. I am sort of disenchanted with the hotdog race, though, now that I found out that the race is totally rigged. (HA! You didn't know that? Now we're all sad. I feel better....)

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The last few years, we've gone to at least 6 regular season games. The main attraction for Mark is good old American baseball (and, as mentioned, weiners). The main attraction for me is obviously the nachos and beer, since I mostly hate sports and wholly love nachos and beer.

Nachos and beer are pretty expensive at the ballpark. A luxury, if you will. (I say you can put no price on nachos, but whatever.) For , you get a decent-sized bowl of chips and TWO GIANT CUPS of delicious nacho cheese. They try to give you one cup of cheese and one cup of salsa, but I am having none of that crap. I want my two cups of cheese so that I can go sit and watch baseball and literally watch my pants become too tight. for nachos wouldn't be so bad if we split the nachos, but I am having none of that crap, either. I do not share nachos.

The past few seasons of our stellar baseball attendance have happened to coincide with the past few years of our Adventures in Infertility and Moron Management. Which also happened to coincide with my need to eat nachos (and any other food left laying around) and drink beer.

(Sometimes, I eat food out of a person's hand when it's in mid air, on the way to their mouth. Then I say, "HA! Too slow!")

Anyway, in order to soothe my misery of infertility and baseball, I began to splurge on an additional addiction - .75 plastic cups of beer.

So how many orders of nachos and .75 plastic cups of beer can a 5"1' girl drink at a baseball game? Well, I don't know for sure because I think it's a complicated computation that involves trigonometry and statistics, divided by the rate of expansion of the waistline, and maybe a warning from the surgeon general. Squared. (My educated guess is 1 nacho, 2ish beer. Rounded.)

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By now you're undoubtedly wondering...what is my point? Well, I really don't have one, and I was really hoping to come up with something brilliant while writing. Like always. Because I'm brilliant on a daily basis, sometimes more than once. And maybe now you're thinking that I have to be building up to something very real. Very proufound, perhaps?

It's doubtful. I mean, I'm talking about beer and nachos here, people.

But really, I think my point is that I hope I won't be able to drink beer this summer. I hope I have to go and eat my nachos and watch baseball sober. I hope to replace my .75 plastic cup of beer with a ice cream cone. I hope I get to watch my waistline expand for a positive reason, and not because sometimes food is the only thing that makes me feel better.

I hope that our Adventures in Infertility will be on hold for a while, and that I will only have to continue on with the Moron Management.

Really? I'd just like to have a baby.

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Date: 15.12.2018, 14:06 / Views: 32383