How to Support Friends when They Are Down
Approach your friend and ask "What's the matter?". If your friend decides to tell you, then listen with all your heart; if he or she refuses to, then don't force it.
Talk to your friend about how it's all going to be fine and how it's not his or her fault.Basically, it is most important to comfort and motivate your friend.
Stress the positives.If your friend still thinks negatively, try to make him or her think positively. Say things such as "Look, just because you upset someone you care about, it doesn't mean they're going to leave you forever. Think about him/her and yourself".
Say something like, "I think maybe you need some time alone with your thoughts/to process everything.I'm going to go out and pick up some ice cream for us (ice cream and chocolate solve everything) and we can talk about it some more when I get back." After that you will do as you said; give your friend a little time to him or herself to think, if he or she asks you to stay, then stay. You know you have opened a door when your friend asks this of you.
Once their thinking time is over (approx.10-20 minutes will do), say to them "Have you thought it through?" if they say yes and start saying things like "You're right," if they haven't then finalize it by saying something about your past when you felt down. Then tell them a story about something that happened to you that got you down.
Reflect the positive outcome.Once your comforting has finished and you have answered any questions your friend may have asked, smile at him or her and say "Yes... it was a heck of a bad time then." And just comfort him or her until the time is right. Hopefully, that's when he or she will start laughing or smiling.
QuestionHow can I support a friend who lives in another country?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYou could mail a small gift or a handwritten letter. Sometimes a physical reminder that somebody is thinking about us can be a really nice support.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend's mum died of breast cancer and she is very sad about it and she won't talk to me. What can I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerShe sounds very depressed. Don't take it personally. She need some time to mourn and accept things. For some people it takes 6 months or a year, or more. Be patient with your friend. Tell her that you want to give her time and space to grieve but that you will be there anytime she wants to talk or go out and get her mind off things. Just let her know you are there. My friend's mother died and she disappeared for 6 months. It's very hard.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend just lost her cousin in a car accident, so she has been sad for a very long time. I am a boy, so I don't know what girls really want when they are sad. Is there anything special I can do to help?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerJust by being there should probably help a lot, regularly asking her if she is okay and maybe buying her some chocolates or flowers with a note saying that you're always here for her, just so she knows that there is someone there she knows she can talk to. Losing someone you are close to can affect you for a while, but it makes a difference when you know there is always someone who has your back and I think it's really nice that you care about her.Thanks!
QuestionWhat can I do if my friend and I are going through a rough time and just want to cry?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYou might try doing something with each other that will take your minds off of it for a little while and cheer you both up. Consider going to the movies or getting dinner at a nice restaurant. You may also just want to cry it out for a while, which is completely okay. Try to be there for each other, but let the emotions come out.Thanks!
QuestionI have a friend who is threatening to leave his job because he's had enough of how he is getting treated. How do I support him?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTalk to him and help him. List pros and cons for leaving/staying at the job. This may help him come to a decision. Try to make sure your friend doesn't do anything rash, and help him come up with a plan of action for whatever he decides to do.Thanks!
QuestionI have this friend who has major girl/boy problems. I am her best friend but I am not the best person to solve problems. Whenever she talks to me I make stuff into a joke. What do I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerWell, if she is your best friend, you have to take her problems seriously and try to find a solution, even if it won't be the best one. Resist the urge to make jokes, and just listen to her feelings.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend lost a very expensive new phone and is very down. She doesn't want to talk to anyone, not even me. What can I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTell her to appreciate the more important things in life. The world won't end because she lost a phone. Do fun activities to cheer her up.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if nothing works?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThen pray for your friend. God knows how to help your friend. Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is bring his or her problems to God and ask Him to deal with them.Thanks!
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- Telling stories about times when you and/or other people were down are not necessarily helpful. When someone is down, he or she really needs attention to his or her own emotions, and does not need to hear about something else, but just time and a good listener to help process his or her emotions.
- If your friend is still down on the next week, then the problem may be serious.
- If your friend is smiling the next time you see them then you know you have accomplished what you wanted, and that's them smiling and saying to you "I'm glad you were there with me."
- Don't act too excited; if he or she is really sensitive you could overwhelm them even more.
- Tell your friend the plus points about him or her.
- Don't use this as an opportunity to talk about yourself and your own problems. This is about your friend! There is nothing worse than one person adding to the woes by trying to out-compete with the other's own woes - drop it and be empathetic in more constructive ways.
- When you say you will let your friend have time to think, let him or her think. Don't stay close to your friend at this moment; give some space and just let your friend think things through.
- Do not force your friend to do anything he or she doesn't want to, just force your friend to try to smile without saying something like "Just smile or I'll break your legs!" That's not supportive, that's just piling up more and more negativity and pressure on your friend.
Video: Support A Friend Going Through A Difficult Time
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Date: 01.12.2018, 18:30 / Views: 34292