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How to learn to say no?

Olga Reznik
Olga Reznik
December 6, 2012
How to learn to say no?

Some people simply do not know how to say "no", even if they really do not want to respond to the request of another person, even if they had other plans for this time. But they, reluctantly, agree, and then they may not come at the appointed time, do not answer the phone calls, and later acquittant fables are weaving, thus creating for themselves unnecessary problems, at least trying to say no.

Why be able to say "no"

A person is afraid of offending someone with his refusal, and therefore, where it is possible and necessary to show a principled position, he steps on the throat of his own song and does what he doesn’t like at all, to the detriment of his wishes and interests. He is afraid to appear bad. Afraid that, say he once “no”, he will stop loving him. And he is also afraid that when he needs help himself, he will receive a refusal, because he himself once or even several times refused.

Meanwhile, such people, as a rule, extremely rarely turn to others with requests,because they are afraid to burden anyone. They are reputed to be trouble-free people whose kindness everyone uses and who they constantly ride. It is clear that they just need to learn how to say no.

Learning to refuse correctly

But how to learn to say no? Psychologists say that any person to whom they make a request has the right to refuse, just as the applicant has the right to ask. But how to do it? How to learn to say no?

First of all, if you don’t like something, feel free to express your displeasure, and perhaps even irritation. So you will prepare the interlocutor in advance for refusal.

After that, surely say no. If you speak uncertainly, then the interlocutor will immediately feel your weakness and continue to pursue his own. Failure certainly justify. For example: "I can not go for a walk with you, because I have not yet learned the lessons."

You can offer your partner a solution to his problem. Say, advise to call someone else. Maybe that person will be more free.

Stay at the same time absolutely confident. Then both your no and your yes will be treated with respect. And you will cease to be a trouble-free man, driven by all and sundry.

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