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How can you not deal with your children

Do not humiliate

Never humiliate a child. Especially with other people. It seems to us that at this moment we look like good parents worrying about the future of our children. But if it’s really important for you how your children grow up, then stop forever humiliating them. “Who are you so Krivorukov? I have not yet seen such muddle. Who needs you such a freak? ”- that inner pain and shame that children experience at this moment will be imprinted on their psyche for the rest of their lives. From the closest people in the world, children are waiting for support and help. By humiliating children, we make them understand that we not only refuse to support them, but also are a threat themselves.

Do not betray

When, for example, the father leaves the family, and at the same time his stepchildren become more important than their own children: for them he is ready to do everything, but does not want to know his relatives. It is especially difficult for children who were tied to their father, with whom they had a good relationship, as they believed.

Or another example, on the street the baby burst into tears, the surrounding people make comments to him, because he bothers them. And mother, instead of taking the side of the child, or at least taking a neutral position, also begins to scold or shame the child.

Children are just learning to live in this world, for them it is important to have a sense of security and rear, where you can always return and be safe. In a situation of betrayal, they understand that they have no one to turn to, they are not needed by anyone and are not important the way they want it.

Do not meddle in privacy

First of all, it concerns teenagers. They take the first steps in adulthood, and any careless word, comment or doubt can cause unpleasant painful feelings. It is especially terrible if parents secretly read the child's correspondence, and then they punish them if they don’t like something. Of course, it is not worth letting your teenager’s life take its course. But it is also impossible to impose or force everyone to tell. Ideally, even before adolescence, you have a relationship of trust. But if not, have to work now.

But children younger may have their own personal lives. For example, its own room, or at least a shelf in the closet.Their personal books, toys, to which access from others is limited.

Don't promise what you can't do

Dad promised to come for the weekend, but apparently forgot to clarify which ones. You promised that you would give a birthday present for a phone, and then change your mind. Before going out for a walk they promised ice cream, and then you became too lazy to enter the store. With each such incident, you are undermining your child’s trust in you. He understands that you cannot be relied on, that it is better not to share personal and important things with you, because you will again deceive. And believe me, in the future many more times this loss of closeness will come back to you.

Of course, it is difficult to predict all situations; one way or another, from time to time we have to break our promises. But in such cases, we must sincerely apologize and explain the reason. Even if your baby seems too small for you. Honest and open relations are better to start building from the very beginning.

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